A survival skill that is vital to our existence is forming human bonds, and sometimes these attachments can become problematic.
When was last time when an act you performed triggered feelings of not being loved, respected or cared for? Have you ever thought of the anxious or fearful styles of behaving being associated to attachments that are unhealthy?
Anxiety, discomfort and unhappiness can stem from the very ability we have to attach ourselves to people, things, emotions and patterns that are detrimental to our well-being. We can try and strive to develpop a non-attachment approach to our own experiences.
Don’t forget healthy attachments to people you love, activities you do, passions or possessions you love bring joy to your life and this is a wonderful healthy thing. If something stirs up uncomfortable feelings of anxiety, worry and stress maybe it is time to introduce non-attachment practices in your life. This process can assist you in tearing clear of co-dependent relationships and emotional crutches.
For example when a relationship ends, a deep sense of loss can be triggered. If you already have an insecure attachment style, this can feel even worse. Try to remember that breakups are universal, that change is part of life, and as we change so does everything around us including the nature of this relationship. All other people going through this carry-on and move forward at one point and so can you! Talking to a close friend or writing down your feelings will help you move with a bit more ease through the process.
Remember not to turn the rejection feelings inward. How do you behave when you feel rejected? How is this rejection felt in my body, what is the discomfort? These are few questions you may employ. Ask yourself; what can I have done differently?, what may have been improved in this whole process?, and then allow this awareness to help you in all your future relationships.
A simple mantra to practice would be:
“I am leaning towards non-attachment. I open myself to accept with awareness what comes and allow it to leave when is time. What is for me will be for me, without effort or struggle. I embrace this process.”