For those yoga newbies out there, it takes some time and practice to even begin calming the fluctuations of the mind. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions we’ve all experienced in a yoga class at some point:
Okay, I’m so ready to yoga! Let’s do this!

Ah, this isn’t so bad…


Wait, something is wrong here. Why can everyone else touch the floor and I can’t? Maybe I have extra bones? Are they all mutants?

Since when did planks become yoga?

I can’t stop shaking… I hope no one is looking.

Breathe into my calves? I think someone needs a refresher in anatomy.

How is this so hard? Why is no one screaming?

Everyone has such serene expressions… they must all be androids. This is proof, robots are living among us. Or maybe aliens. I wonder how high up this goes… the CIA? Are the Men in Black real?

Focus. Clear your mind! Exhale…

Oh child’s pose, how I love thee.

I still maybe have time to sneak out and grab a glass of wine instead.

No, I can’t do that, I paid $20 for class already…

Wait, what did the teacher just say? Or’d you mook your so asana? WHAT?!

Okay, here we go again. Ding ding: round 79 of Sun Salutations.

Oh, it’s only round 3…

Okay chaturanga, I own you… {flop}

I hope no one saw that.

I feel like a T. Rex. This can’t be right.

Why did I eat that burrito before class? In what universe was that ever a good idea? Ugh.

Another down dog?!

Leg to the sky…

Don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart.

This pose does not make me feel like a warrior. I think a gentle breeze would probably blow me over.

 Is this teacher even human? How? Just… HOW?!

This is silly.

Just breathe into it? Breathe?! My limbs and torso are twisted into at least seven knots. How the heck are my lungs supposed to inflate in this position?

-gasp- Sweet relief! Am I spiritually enlightened yet?

NO! DEAR GOD, NO! We have to do that whole sequence again on the other side?! SPARE ME!

Woof. I need a cookie.

I never knew my hands could sweat this much. So. slippery.

I got it… I GOT IT! I… fell.

I can’t wait for some food. What should I eat after class?

Inversions? No thank you. I’ll just lay here.

Oh my gosh, someone farted! Just ignore it. Don’t laugh. Don’t smile. Just deep inhale…

Arghhh, the smell! Nose, you have betrayed me!

No pigeon has ever done this, ever. I think the teacher has confused yoga postures with ancient torture methods. Hips are not designed for this. Just ow.

Yes, yes, yes! Nap time, nap time, nap time!

This is the best! So worth it.

Shhh, tummy. Stop grumbling. You’re embarassing me.

Clear my mind… Clear my mind… Have to clean the kitchen. Then make dinner. What should I make?… It’d be fun to have an ice cream maker… Maybe I could quit my job and start my own ice cream business…

Stop it! Clear your mind!

_______________________________________ … Look at me, I’m meditating! … oops.

That guy next to me is snoring really loudly. Must try not to fall asleep.

This is the most wonderful thing ever.

Ahhhhhhhh… om.


Wow, I feel amazing! I can’t wait until the next class.